Hati Mau Kuat Takes a Break but Hati Tetap Kuat

3 days left before I end my semester. 10 days before I submit my portfolio for exit viva exam. 35 days before I sit for that viva exam.

It's only fitting I take a break from doing the unnecessary, though I will still drop by once in a while here and there.

I leave you guys with a quote from Rocky Balboa.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It's a very rough, mean place.
And no matter how tough you think you are,
it will always bring you to your knees
and keep you there permanently,
if you let it.
You or nobody ain't ever gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't about how hard you hit.
It's about how hard you can get hit
and keep moving forward.
How much you can take
and keep moving forward.
If you know what you're worth,
go out and get what you're worth.
But you gotta be willing to take the hit."

Tired, sleepy but still a long way to go...

I'm reading about Warthin's tumor when the media player suddenly plays Wrathchild. Does anybody see the connection? Yes? Yes? Yes? No? Sigh...

I think I can finally understand what it must feel like when Haza quoted Mr. Frost's 'miles to go before I sleep.'

Mengapa surgery mesti jadi macam surgery? Mengapa surgeon mesti jadi macam surgeon? Tak boleh ke surgery jadi macam Pendidikan Jasmani? Tak boleh ke surgeon jadi macam akak cashier cun kat KFC? Akak cun???!! Oh, sungguh jauh sama sekali.

Someone should invent a device that would allow people to read while sleeping. Wouldn't it be awesome if knowledge can be downloaded into the brain just like The Matrix. Just sit on a chair, flick a switch. You'll seize for a few minutes on the chair, and once you wake up, you say in a very cool, suave, Keanu Reeves-ish manner, "I know how to perform laparascopic cholecystectomy." Peerrgghhh!! If only.

Speaking of Reeves, I watched Something's Gotta Give last night. And Diane Keaton is hot! Am I wrong to point this out in a 57-year-old woman?

Blues

Kerja Gomen 2

I give credit when credit is due. I called the Johore State Health Office again today.

The phone rang once, twi... "Hello, selamat tengah hari. Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri. Boleh saya bantu?"

Fuiiyoooohh!!! Damn cekap I tell you.

Anyways, the lady who answered the phone was very friendly, and I was only passed to another person once, who gave me the info I requested. It was in, sap-sap-sui, and out. Everyone knew what they were doing.

Syabas, Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Johor. Macam ni lah baru Malaysia Boleh!

Intentions

With the new year and struggle in the mideast, I've been in deep contemplation, when suddenly the media player set at random played this song. All my questions were answered. Amazing that in between songs of Demons, The Beast, Hell and what nots, this one pops out.

Text in bold are those I find most relevant, at least to me.

Waking up in the morning, gotta make my prayer
Am I really gonna' make it, when there is no one there?
Taking trips to the masjid (mosque), even when it's tough
Am I going for the sake of Allah? Am I showing off?
Gonna' get me the knowledge, gonna study Islam
Am I going just to build my ego? So they call me “the Man”?
Does it matter if the people respect me, when its not for Allah?
When I know anytime He can take me, without one real du'a (prayer)
Does it matter if they say I'm a big shot?
when I get no reward for my deeds
And I'm dragged on the Day of Resurrection
Cause of the folks that I wanted to please
Plus I know that Allah has the power
To raise me up in their eyes if it need be
I should always make my intentions, for my Lord, Allah completely

[Chorus]
Are my Intentions alright?
Am I doing it for Allah?
When I'm looking deep, deep down inside
Do I have the right niyyah (intentions)?

Wearing thoubs with a kufi, kufi
Miswaks leather socks like the old days
Am I trying to follow the Prophet? Or am I seeking praise?
Giving talks on Islam to people
I'd be quoting Hadith and Qur'an
Am I speaking so they like how I'm speaking? And they say I'm “the Bomb”
Donating to Islamic centers, giving money so the Deen can grow
Am I giving for the sake of Allah? Or is it for show?
Many times I have found my intentions
Are not what I want them to be
I know I start on the right direction
But Shaitan starts talking to me
And I forget that without my niyyah, I'm just wasting my time
My intentions cannot bring the reward, when they're out of line
So I pray to Allah to help me, to do everything for Him only
Doesn't matter if the people despise me
Cause with Allah I can never be lonely

Yah Allah, accept this niyyah
Coming from young Muslims striving to be believers
So on the day, our deeds You'll measure. Know we only did this strictly for Your pleasure, Your pleasure
Your mercy, Your ajur (reward), Your Jannah (heaven), forever and ever and ever
And reward us for those who listen
Heeded to the message, changing their condition
And know that everything up until this point I've ever written
I submit as my repentance
And if its blessings You're sending my way
I beg You hold them to the judgement day
so maybe in Jannah you can look back and say...
It was a lovely day, a lovely, a lovely day, yes a lovely day

[Chorus]
Are my Intentions alright?
Am I doing it for Allah?
When I'm looking deep, deep down inside
Do I have the right niyyah?

If My Chair Could Speak

It will be saying "WOOOIII!! Sudah sudah la duduk depan PC tuuu. Ngko ni berat siol. Aku dah lenguh. Pegi la duduk atas kerusi lain. Baring atas lantai ke. Tolong laaa ya ampuuunnn."

Portfolio. Sigh.

Bangsa:

Friday was the dateline for me to submit the Borang Maklumat Diri (BMD) form. It's basically an application for housemanship placement.

As usual, one of the fields that I have to fill was the Bangsa: field. I was very tempted to write 'Malaysia'. Thinking of the possibility that they might reject my application, I wrote 'Melayu' instead.

I would understand the necessity to specify my bangsa as Melayu if I was filling an application form for a spot in MRSM, boarding school or the local matric program (90% of the available slots are designated for Bumis), or applying for UMNO membership.

We're talking about a job application and placement here. Does it really matter?

I can't imagine this sort of conversation taking place in the Ministry of Health office:

"Ni budak Cina nih, kita hantar pegi Terengganu lah."

"Dia ni Melayu, bapak businessman. Kasi dia hospital kat Sarawak sana."

"Orang Asli tu kira bangsa sendiri ke Melayu jugak?"

"Sikh tu kira sama macam India ke macam mana?"

"Kalau bangsa Jawa, dia ni kira warganegara ke bukan?"

"Budak ni kata dia Iban. Macam mana nak settle ni?"

"Adusss!! Apa pasal dia ni pegi taroh Bugis?? Bagero betul budak nih."

"Dia nih tulis Lain-lain. Biar betik!"


But then again, this is Malaysia. We'll never know. What do you think?

Kerja Gomen*

Today I had to make a phone call to Johore State Health Office. I found the number online and dialed it. The phone rang once, twice, then it sounded like someone answered. Wah-lau! Damn efficient.

"Hello," I said.

"Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttt."

Aiseh. Sekali fax machine daa.

So I dialed the other number. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. And rang.

Cayalah pekerja gomen. Mesti korang tengah ramai-ramai lepak kat pantry, makan roti sardin sama timun dengan air teh o panas extra gula yang Kak Esah janitor buat. Malaysia boleh!

*Gomen = Government

Potato was on Sale

Those local waxy potatoes were on sale in Carrefour today. A kilo goes for RM1.39. I bought 6 kilos. Last week it was RM0.89 per kilo, but only the badly bruised ones were left.

At RM1.39 a kilo, that's cheaper than rice! It should last me about 2 weeks.

Nampaknya pegi wad sekarang ni kena pakai silencer lah.

"Only the dead are safe in Gaza"

That line was quoted from a Palestinian blogger called Exiled. It sends shudders down my spine every time I read his poem.

The current Operation Cast Lead by the Israeli military was uncalled for. Yes, Hamas may not have fully complied to the ceasefire but they mighty tried. During the previous ceasefire, number of attacks by Palestinian Qassam rockets dropped from hundreds a month to mere few. Blockade on the Palestinians by the Israeli, however, hasn't moved the slightest. Now who got the raw end of the deal?

Bloody Israel are only looking for the faintest reason to expand their walls.

As a consequence of the airstrike and blockade, hundreds of innocent Palestinians lost their life and thousands more are in serious humanitarian crisis.

Do your part in helping the innocent women and children of Palestine. Please donate to Aman Palestin, a Malaysian non-profit NGO that is directly involved with humanitarian relief in Palestine.

I personally know Dr Zainur Rashid, one of the upper echelons of Aman Palestin and I have faith and trust their movement.

Donate via bank transfer to Aman Palestin Bhd

Maybank account no: 5622 6301 10787

Bank Islam account no: 1202 9010 0478 80

Please visit their website at amanpalestin.org for more information.



Related information:

2008-2009 Israeli-Gaza Conflict.
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.
History of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.
Occupation 101. A documentary on Israeli occupation of Palestinian land.

Sembang-sembang Ahad

Once when I was 10, I was at my auntie's house in Kuala Terengganu. She is a teacher and had a small library in her house. As I was reading her encyclopedia collection (more like looking at the pictures..... of Venus de Milo!! Haha), she said that I should go out and play with others, doing kids stuff like konda-kondi, fishing in the bendang, make and fly a kite and things like that. She continued by saying, childhood only come once. Don't miss it, because if you do, you'll end up searching for it for the rest of your life.

I didn't follow her advice and continued reading.

I guess she was right. Because today, the tiniest person in my class, calls the largest person in my class (yours truly), budak kecik. How rude!

Sembang-sembang Sabtu

Yesterday, the clinical campus in Batu Pahat held a community health screening program in one of the kampungs in Batu Pahat (amazingly, the name of the kampung we went to didn't begin with 'Parit').

This conversation took place between a student, a recent graduate who is in his first month of working, and two lecturers.

Lecturer 1: How was your first on-call?

New doctor: It was terrible. One patient passed away that night.

Lecturer 2: It's like an unwritten rule. Wherever you go, no matter which posting you're in, first calls are always an unpleasant experience.

New Doctor: I'm just worried la. So far 2 patients did not make it on the days I was on call. And all my calls have been very tiring.

Lecturer 1: But you guys IMU students are used to that already what.

Student: Used to what? Patient dying???

Lecturer 1: NO!! On-calls lah!!

* * * * *

It can't be helped. Each time a group of healthcare practitioners come together, the topic of death will almost always surface. No. It's not because doctors are fascinated by death. 6 years learning medicine, I know whenever someone says "a patient I attended didn't make it through the night," there is a story of fear, struggle, hope and disappointment. The statement is more of a summary than just phrases.

Speaking of summaries, I've got a few case reports to summarize.

Maybe we dwell on this topic when I have more time. For the time being, if you have stories about hospitals, do share it with us. Do use the comment section. Bye. =)