Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Superimposer

Ok I admit, the previous post, the superimposing I did, weren't really good ones. Sue me, I was tired and in a hurry. So to redeem the throne of the self-proclaimed superimposer I am, here are few of my favourite works.

The Mahabeatles



Malaysian Idol? Look again closely.

Me and Norah Jones. Some people say she looks like Maya Karin in that pontianak movie. Blah la korang!!

And who can forget these:


The Last of the Nasi Ambang Man

I use Microsoft Paint to edit these pictures. It's orthodox, simple and cool. Photoshop are for pervs.


Sunday, November 26, 2006

Warning: Witch Chicks At Large.

There have been sightings and reports of 4 witch chicks running around the streets of KL, tricking single guys to run with them, and end up killing him. The information that is about to be revealed, are the colaborative effort from survivors (currently, there is only one), and through his endeavouring attempt in putting his life on the line in an effort to get that vital piece of information, the author would like to express his gratitude to him.

The Witch Chicks

Witch Chick #1: Faie of the Fangorn

Rank: Witch Chick Ring Leader.
Abilities: Swim fast, run fast, bike fast.
Secret Weapon: The Faienator Hidden Cam Extravaganza.
Misc: Faie of the Fangorn takes pictures of her kill as a trophy.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

Witch Chick #2: Mary of the East

Rank: Witch Chick Trick Master.
Abilities: Act deceptively innocent.
Secret Weapon: The Gatorade Bottle.
Misc: The official information gatherer of the Witch Chicks Faction. Has fetish over Japanese guys.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

With Chick #3: Khairul the Killer

Rank: Royal Advisor.
Abilites: Run really fast.
Secret Weapon: The 500ml Mineral Water of Doom.
Misc: The newest member of the Witch Chicks Faction, but her ability far exceeds the expectation of a new member.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

Witch Chick #4: Aini the Zebet Murderer

Rank: Decoy Grandmaster.
Abilities: Loses weight easily.
Secret Weapon: The Ainimatronic Big Ass Camera.
Misc: The most hardworking of all Witch Chick. Has a thing for Powerman Champions.
Special Ability: Decoy.

Modus Operandi of the Witch Chicks.

The Witch Chicks operate within a strict and standard mode of operation.

Selection of Victim: A profiling of candidates of victims were done a week prior to the kill. A board of adviosors, consisting of Bacin the Vampire Pimp Daddy and Eugene the Sang Algojo selects the victim. The criteria of a perfect victim is slow running ability. The victim is then tricked to join the Witch Chicks running session by seducing the victim with names like 'The Double Hill (Boob) Loop' and 'Running While Eyeing'.

The Kill: Witch Chicks with spellingbinding abilities run ahead of the group, leaving a decoy between them and the victim. The decoy acts as to provide clearance for the spellbinders to work their spell, which is locked in an irresistable Gatorade bottle. Consuming the spellbound Gatorade will cause the person to develop blisters and chaffing on his feet. This bottle is then given to the victim once the pack has regrouped. A graphic representation of the kill is summarized in the figure below:

Once the spell is consumed, the decoy joins the spellbinders and leave the victim behind, hoping that he will get himself lost and die due to dehydration or getting mauled by wild dogs.

Should the plan succeed, the Witch Chicks will then engage in a dance called the 'Nakata, You Are My Hero', a ritual according to sources.

Should they fail, a Witch Chick will then buy an ice-cream popsicle, eat it in front of the victim innocently, as if as nothing has happened.

How to escape the Witch Chicks.

When nobody is watching, hail a taxi.

Disclaimer: Cerita di atas tidak mempunyai sebarang kaitan, dengan sesiapa yang boleh berlari pantas, berlari tanpa baju, pelari yang makan bihun sup, pelari yang makan banyak mahupun pelari yang naik teksi.


Thursday, November 16, 2006

Losing Isn't So Bad

I was about to sleep when I suddenly realised I've not seen how an Ironman medal look like (how did I come to this, I don't know). So I went online to get a photo of one. Then I found something on ironman.com that caught my attention.

NB: I've vowed not to practice cut-and-paste ala plaigarism, but this is too valuable.

Here goes:

He’s the biggest loser competing at Ford Ironman Florida tomorrow, and he couldn’t be happier. Since January 1st of this year, Adam Tice has lost 140.6 pounds, which netted him a Tanita Scale as the race’s “biggest loser” last night. While winning the scale was no doubt a nice bonus, the fact that Tice is here to compete at all is a tribute to his incredible drive and determination.

“I registered the day after last year’s race, but I didn’t want to stop eating well through the holidays,” he said at last night’s Fig Newtons Welcome Dinner here in Panama City Beach. Don’t mistake his desire to keep eating what he wanted for those extra two months as a lack of determination – once January 1st came, he started on a strict program that revolved around the magic number of 140.6. Tice figured he needed to lose the equivalent of the Ironman race distance (140.6 miles) in weight to get ready for the Ironman. He wasn’t going to repeat the ordeal he went through for his first triathlon event.

Determined to “test his athletic limits,” he did that first race, the Escape from Alcatraz, weighing a not-so-svelte 340 pounds. As a joke, he shaved all his body hair, including his head, to gain a few seconds. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite enough to make him particularly competitive.

“I was the last official finisher of the race by an hour,” he said.

Weighing 362.2 pounds on New Years day of this year, Tice has achieved his goal. He’s now down to 221 pounds, and looks more than ready to have Mike Reilly pronounce him an Ironman tomorrow evening.

The 36-year-old from Parker, Colorado, was never athletic growing up. A “big guy” all his life the closest he got to a competitive situation was playing baritone in the high school band.

Then, a few years ago, Tice joined a new company. Everyday at lunch he would see one of his co-workers, a 5’ 1” tiny triathlete “fuel” herself rather than eat what everyone else did. She encouraged him to try a triathlon. Tice went for the big challenge all at once – he tried to get into the Ford Ironman World Championship through the lottery a couple of times, but didn’t get picked. Taking destiny into his own hands, he signed up for Ford Ironman Florida last year.

“I like the idea of the flat course here in Florida,” he said. “In San Francisco I ended up having to push my bike up three of the hills.”

How obsessed has this guy been about the number 140.6? In early January his training regimen consisted of about 30 minute workouts. He found that he got the best results by going doing interval training, interspersing five minute intervals with five minutes going easy. He gradually built up to an hour and 40 minutes. Then he worked his way up to 140 minutes of training at a time.

On top of all the training, Tice moved the decimal over to the right and made sure that he never ate more than 1406 calories a day.

The end result? A fit looking Adam Tice is here in Florida ready to take on his first Ironman.

Good luck, Adam!

And here are interval pictures of Adam when he was doing his 140.6 program.

This guy is consistent!!

Holy tuna fish!! You sure you hadn't had a lipo done, Adam?

Utter unbelievable. Adam Tice, you are one determined, consistent, stubborn jackass. I salute you.

I'm playing with the idea of having it a go at Ironman Langkawi 2008. Hmmm... Sombody please tell me I'm not having delusions.


Monday, November 13, 2006

I Am Humbled

Isk lah. Dah berbulan blog ni aku buat, baru terperasan comments tu aku letak moderated. Patut la dok asyik zero comments memanjang. Puas advertise blog. Almost a blogwhore I nearly become. Haha. No worries, I've approved all comments and set them unmoderated. Word verification pun sudah off, pasal nak kena type balik huruf-huruf pelik tu, rasa macam menjengkelkan.

Ramai rupanya yang datang blog nih. Superstar pun ada!!! I am deeply humbled. And, no, I wasn't giving cold shoulders when I didn't respond to the comments. I'm the tech-blind guy. My bad. I'm sorry.

Every mark you leave on this 'teratak buruk' level blog is motvation to me. Thank you for your support :~) and do come again for more!!!!

p.s: Coming very very very very very soon: Lumut Powerman photos!!!
p.p.s: This one memang nak kena mintak ampun cium-kaki-style-cerita-hindustan punya. To Faie and The Eraser, I saw you guys at Lumut during the event, but I thought you wouldn't recognise me if I pop up and say 'HAI!!!' and make a fool out of myself i.e. I was shy lah! But I noticed you left few comments on my blog, so you would've known how I look like. I feel like a fool now. The next time I spot you, I won't be inhibited to say hello. :)


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Thaaaaaaat's ME!

A Pacesetter cameraman caught this picture of mine. Luckily, he didn't come up with a cute caption.

Damn. I either need to lose weight or get a bigger t-shirt.


Sunday, November 05, 2006

Subang Jaya 10K Run 2006

Port Dickson Half Marathon 2006 : DNF (Did not finish) Naik support van.
Putrajaya Half Marathon 2006 : DNF (Did not finish) Naik support van lagi.

Subang Jaya 10K 2006 : DF (Did finish)!!!!!!

Muka puas hati. Placement nombor yang sempurna meng'cover' dada. Hehe.

It wasn't just a simple finish. For the first time, I wasn't last!!!! Hahahaha!! And I didn't stop or pause in the run!! That was an achievement. Third time's the charm. Yep. And demoting myself to 10K runs is a wise decision.

At the beginning of the race, I wasn't sure of what to expect. PD Half and Putrajaya Half was badly executed. I didn't train right, and I was aiming too far, too unreal. This time, I had to get my everything straight.

The Target

So few minutes before the run this time, I had a chat with myslef and properly weigh my abilities and put it through a serious thought. Heck, I wasn't sure of what to think, so I came up with the simplest aim any simpleton can come up with. It was a 10km race, so lets make it a minute per km. 100 minutes. That's 1 hour 40 minutes. Ah, belasah je. So that was my humble target, to put it in the words of Master Zailan, 'Janji Habis'.

I can't help it, but at the starting line, I was scanning the crowd, not to look for competitors, but I was looking the possible faces that would end up behind me (evil!!!). Hey, I kept my thoughts to myself (until now) so it isn't a crime. Plus, that actually kept me going.

Bang!! The race started pre-maturely. They promised 7:30 am, but it started at 7:27 am. Hmmm.. Malaysians being early? Tak kisah lah. But I was caught off guard. "Eh, mula dah? Ok, here goes nothing."

My pace was based on my heart rate. Didn't want to push too hard too soon, so I started really slow. Almost everyone overtook me. Sabar, beb, sabar. I tried enjoying the scenery. Subang Jaya is actually quite a nice town I have to say.

The Turning Point

Half way into the run things took turn to the better. My 'engine' was then warmed up to perfection and was itching to rev. The group ahead of me, which was previously stretched into a very long line, has started to bunch up, a sign that people are slowing down. Ahhh, chantek!

This was when I said to myself "Ko jangan nak mengada nak berenti lari. Kalau berenti, ko ni macam pondan potong ko**k". I kept my pace steady. Slowly, one by one, I started to overtake those who were ahead of me. But Malaysia is never short of kiasu drivers and runners. Ada la a group of 3 ni, everytime I overtook them, they would scramble ahead of me, then slowed down. Aku potong lagi, dia lari lagi pegi depan aku. Oooo, mau main Hare and Tortoise dengan aku ye. Aku up heart rate aku by 10 beats per minute, and keep up for 5 minutes. Aku potong sekali, never to see them again!! Hahahaha. How's that mofos. A sight of a fat guy overtaking you? Priceless.

The Finish

Everything was smooth sailing, until the final kilometer. Aku dah nak pengsan, my hands were numb, beads of cold sweats was pouring, and I didn't feel right. Then I remembered the video that Mary reccommended, Will Smith video on Key to Life: Running and Reading. "I will not quit when things get hard". Tahan, beb, tahan. Slowly but steadily, I was finally in the stadium. Hundreds around me had already finish the race, maybe I was the only one running. But I was determined to finish. 50 meters, 40 meters, 30, 20, 10, 5, 3, 2, 1 meter, and I finaly crossed it!!!! Sumpah, aku rasa macam nak mati, beb.

Coincidentally, at that very point I met Mary and Jaja. They were already on their way back. I yelled, "Mary!!!! I DIDN'T STOP!!!! I DIDN'T STOP!!!!!" Mary muka macam konpius. Ntah ntah she was thinking "Gilak apak ini budak". She then introduced me to Jaja (whom I met for the first time). It was a brief introduction pasal I had to go get myself bukcet loads of water.

After few cups of water, my senses were slowly coming back. Then I realized, when I was crossing the finish line, there were no cheers, the were no ribbons like you see in movies, heck, no one was paying attention to me. But it wasn't about all those. It was about the inner struggle that kept me going, that kept my wanting to cross the finish line. And I was happy.

My time for the run? Well, I did better than my target, by 56 seconds!!!! 1 hour 39 mins 14 secs. Hahaha. Bapak slow macam gajah. Tapi takpe. I DIDN'T STOP!!!

So I'm keeping 10K events as MY events. Half marathon? Well, until I can set a 10K within 1 hour 10 mins, that has to wait. But why bother now when I'm having so much fun!! WOOOOOTTT!!!

This is Ali, my buddy since high school. He broke his running competition virginity today with a time of 62 mins!!! Hanjing power dia nih. About 3 months ago he had a right knee surgery to repair a torn ACL. Tapi dah power macam power rangers.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Cluedo Edisi November

Lets play a game of guess. Guess where I'll be going in November?

Here's a clue for you

Boleh teka? Dapat tak jawapan? Di mana Joe Jambul? Ok la. You guys semua bijak-bijak belaka kan? So you've guessed it.


Lumut + Powerman = Lumut Powerman

It's happening on the 11th of November. But participants, spare your worry. I won't be competing, so there's one extra finisher's medal for the more deserving (ek elen, cakap macam diri sendiri power je). I'll be functioning as a cameraman. Mejar 'Cool' Kalam has agreed to let me play with his camera. And I'm accepting other cameras as well, with the service charge of RM3.50 per hour. Hehe. Sapa-sapa yang race and nak mintak tolong orang lain ambikkan gambar, haaa, meh sini kamera korang.

Prior to Lumut, I'll be joining the Subang Jaya 10k Run happening on 5th November 2006. This being a STAR-oraganized event, mintak sorry lah kalau nak harap aku dapat finisher's medal. Only the first 50 finishers will be given medals and only sub 1 hour runners will recieve certificate. Kedekut!! Aku nak berenti baca STAR Newspaper la macam ni.

This is my November calendar. Come December? Putrajaya Triathlon!!! Tapi tak participate la. Pergi tunjuk muka, capub sikit sini sana, jadi la. Haha.

Kepada pelari-pelari nasional sekalian, jumpa anda di sana!!!