Warning: Witch Chicks At Large.

There have been sightings and reports of 4 witch chicks running around the streets of KL, tricking single guys to run with them, and end up killing him. The information that is about to be revealed, are the colaborative effort from survivors (currently, there is only one), and through his endeavouring attempt in putting his life on the line in an effort to get that vital piece of information, the author would like to express his gratitude to him.

The Witch Chicks

Witch Chick #1: Faie of the Fangorn


Rank: Witch Chick Ring Leader.
Abilities: Swim fast, run fast, bike fast.
Secret Weapon: The Faienator Hidden Cam Extravaganza.
Misc: Faie of the Fangorn takes pictures of her kill as a trophy.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

Witch Chick #2: Mary of the East


Rank: Witch Chick Trick Master.
Abilities: Act deceptively innocent.
Secret Weapon: The Gatorade Bottle.
Misc: The official information gatherer of the Witch Chicks Faction. Has fetish over Japanese guys.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

With Chick #3: Khairul the Killer


Rank: Royal Advisor.
Abilites: Run really fast.
Secret Weapon: The 500ml Mineral Water of Doom.
Misc: The newest member of the Witch Chicks Faction, but her ability far exceeds the expectation of a new member.
Special Ability: Spellbinding.

Witch Chick #4: Aini the Zebet Murderer


Rank: Decoy Grandmaster.
Abilities: Loses weight easily.
Secret Weapon: The Ainimatronic Big Ass Camera.
Misc: The most hardworking of all Witch Chick. Has a thing for Powerman Champions.
Special Ability: Decoy.

Modus Operandi of the Witch Chicks.

The Witch Chicks operate within a strict and standard mode of operation.

Selection of Victim: A profiling of candidates of victims were done a week prior to the kill. A board of adviosors, consisting of Bacin the Vampire Pimp Daddy and Eugene the Sang Algojo selects the victim. The criteria of a perfect victim is slow running ability. The victim is then tricked to join the Witch Chicks running session by seducing the victim with names like 'The Double Hill (Boob) Loop' and 'Running While Eyeing'.

The Kill: Witch Chicks with spellingbinding abilities run ahead of the group, leaving a decoy between them and the victim. The decoy acts as to provide clearance for the spellbinders to work their spell, which is locked in an irresistable Gatorade bottle. Consuming the spellbound Gatorade will cause the person to develop blisters and chaffing on his feet. This bottle is then given to the victim once the pack has regrouped. A graphic representation of the kill is summarized in the figure below:



Once the spell is consumed, the decoy joins the spellbinders and leave the victim behind, hoping that he will get himself lost and die due to dehydration or getting mauled by wild dogs.

Should the plan succeed, the Witch Chicks will then engage in a dance called the 'Nakata, You Are My Hero', a ritual according to sources.

Should they fail, a Witch Chick will then buy an ice-cream popsicle, eat it in front of the victim innocently, as if as nothing has happened.

How to escape the Witch Chicks.

When nobody is watching, hail a taxi.



Disclaimer: Cerita di atas tidak mempunyai sebarang kaitan, dengan sesiapa yang boleh berlari pantas, berlari tanpa baju, pelari yang makan bihun sup, pelari yang makan banyak mahupun pelari yang naik teksi.