2012

Another One Bites The Dust

Selamat meng-game over-kan diri anda, Fairuz. Semoga kekal bahagia bersama isteri tersayang. Nanti dapat anak, kasi nama Azman kat dia. Orang nama Azman ni biasanya hensem dan baik-baik belaka. Biasanya laa.

Gambar adalah ihsan @_ym_n

2012 Resolutions

Tweethandle dan tweetname terpaksa didakwat hitamkan untuk mengelak stalker di twitter. Haha. Selamat tahun baru.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #11

Lepas tu gi semayang kat masjid dekat Orchard Road. Masjid ni sangat win. Posisi pili air dekat tempat wuduk sangat ergonomic. Tak perlu terbongkok-bongkok ambik air sembahyang.

Ekceli rasa macam nak tido je dalam masjid tu terus. Tak larat dah nak jalan.

Tapi lepas tu directly pegi Novena. Sampai sana, aku lepak makan nasik beriyani, Ayman gi opis bas ambik tiket. Sori la, Man. Aku dah penat gila time tu. Tak berdaya aku nak berjalan dah. Penat macam badak.

Lepas naik bas, aku baring-baring atas seat sambil layan movie guna headphone Ayman. Haha. Banyak betul aku nyusahkan orang trip nih.

Disebabkan posisi aku baring atas seat bas, wallet aku jatuh and never to be found again. Selamat jalan MyKad, adios ATM card, sayonara credit card dan goodbye forever cash mau dekat RM300. Sekarang pakai IC sementara. Bagus jugak. IC lama gambar tak cun dah.

Maka itu lah my account for Singapore Half Marathon. Will I run there again? Never!!! It's too commercialized. Aku tak main la mainstream nih. Gua underground. Haha.

Dan kerana aku minat underground, the next day, I went for a trip Down Under. Haaa. Itu dikemudian hari lah ye.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #10

First stop, HMV!! Rambang mata nak pilih. 'Metal' section je dah ada 3 rack. Tarikan utama adalah album 'Lulu'. LOLOLOL. NOT!

Dalam banyak-banyak metal bands nih, Zee Avi jugak yang aku beli. #DomesticatedJantan

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #9

Masa sampai hotel, dah dekat noon. Mandi, pack, check out within an hour. Penat gila. Makan kat kedai (?)mamak ran by Chinese couple. So apa definisi kedai mamak sebenarnya? End up paying about RM140. Macam makan kat Tony Roma's!

Ali terus naik bas gi JB. Aku dengan Ayman nak MRT dan menapak pi Orchard untuk shopping-shoppang dan cari masjid (ya, di Orchard Road).

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #8

Ok. So 21km in 4 hours. Kalau power walk pun lagi laju.

Anyways, bila dah balik hotel, first thing I did was celebrate dengan makan blue cheese. Beli dekat (you guessed it!) Mustafa. Cuma 5 dollah!

Deep, sharp taste. Bau macam muntah. Rasa macam stokin dan ketiak. Tapi the after-taste lepas telan cheese tu sangat best. Lagi-lagi tekak dibasahi dengan minuman anggur berkarbonat tanpa alkohol.

Ayman suggest makan dengan burger. Cadangan yang bagus, tapi sampai hari ni tak berkesempatan. Mungkin tok dah buang cheese ni. Hmmmph. Dia tak sedar ikan pekasam pun busuk jugak.

Intermission

Okay. Terlampau banyak gambar Adidas kot. Haha.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #7

Okay. This part will be wordy.

Ali ajak aku pegi Singapore Marathon ni sebab it's one of the most organized marathon lah. Memang betul pun. Registration mudah. Cuma perlu cepat. 5 months before the run, the 21km slots has actually been filled up. Gila tak gila.

Number collection pun was a breeze. Close to 60 counters were available for 4 days for runners to collect their race kit. Like Ali said, "kalau kau kena beratur lama pun, kau takkan marah punya pasal they've done their best."

And that's where the good stuff ended. Haha. Race day was quite kelam kabut. Singapore Marathon got so famous, I think it collapsed under its own weight.

To begin with, I hate the route. There were 19,000 half marathon runners. And on the first 3km, there were sections that were only 3 meters wide at most. Aisehmen. How can lah like that. Bottleneck gila baboons. Ok lah granted kalau route tu selebar-lebar Autobahn pun, aku still lari slow, tapi not fair for those who were aiming for a personal best time and had trained hard for it. Dah lah mahal registration fee.

I didn't like the stretch within Universal Studios. Rather, I don't like the runners there. A lot of runners stopped and blocked the way to take pictures with Po, Shrek and Bumblebee. Hampeh betul. Satu lagi aku menyampah, berhenti ambik gambar kat distance marker. Arghh!! Benci siut. Mesti newbies yang buat kerja macam ni. (Okay, aku tak lah veteran/seasoned sangat kot, but I've moved on from the phase posing dengan distance marker)

The worst part of the half marathon run is the overall layout. You start in a damp, humid area densely covered with trees. That's when your body will pour sweat out and lose water by the buckets. And towards the end you run on the highway, uncovered, totally exposed to the noon sun. The heat finishes the job that the humidity left behind. Habis. Sau tong. Tutup kedai.

After the 14km mark (2/3rd of the way) I think only 5% of the crowd were actually running. The rest were walking, talking about lunch.

Termasuklah yours truly. Hahaha. Ekceli aku dah start jalan waaaay earlier.

Hasilnya? 21km in 4 hours. Amat cantik timing. Macam mula-mula run dulu.

So in a nutshell, I think Singapore Marathon is good for:

1. Slow runners (like me). You never run alone. That keeps you motivated. Sebagai contoh kalau hang slow, first time runner kat Port Dickson Half Marathon, menangis la sorang-sorang run at the end of the pack kat jalan kampung tengah-tengah kebun rambutan.

2. First time runners. 21km is actually quite difficult to comprehend. So first time runners tend to underestimate it. In a run where most people walk, it's a safe bet to get the gravity of the distance.

3. Rich runners. Registration fee is expensive, considering the exchange rate. And everything in Singapore (with the exception of Mustafa) is expensive. Memang mahal, tapi berbaloi berkorban sebab......

4. Mengusha awek. Seriously. Awek Semenanjung has got the chest gene but not the ass. Awek Sabah has the ass gene but not the chest. Awek Singapore has got both (mati aku ayah aku baca benda nih). If you're single and has got eagle eyes, this is the place to be. So Ali takleh, sebab dia dah kawin dan dia mata sparrow. Ayman orait. Haha. And I'm sure them aweks has got good personalities too (ayat selamatkan diri).


And don't run Singapore Marathon if you are:

1. Aiming for a PB. Run the Borneo International Marathon instead. It's a flat route, scenic and road is wide all the way.

2. Claustrophobic.

3. In wrath with them distance markers photographers!! (Nak ambik gambar ok, tapi jangan la block jalan, please. Dah la jalan sempit)

And with that, sila enjoy gambar posing maut. Konon berlari la, padahal been walking for the last 8km before crossing the finish line. Last 25 meters baru purak-purak lari. Haha.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #6

Ready to rock and roll!!

(More like walk and stroll)

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #5

Kitorang tido kat budget hotel. Hotel 81 Selegi kot nama dia. Ntah la. Nama lebih kurang macam tu la. Sebelum tido, susun kasut, amik gambar cantik-cantik.

And bila dah jantan-jantan berkumpul, mula la aksi budak sekolah 15 tahun. Walaupun dah berkahwin, beranak-pinak sekali pun, laki bila dengan geng sendiri, akan jadi macam budak form 3.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #4

I also found crotch cup in Mustafa. Only come in two sizes. Small and extra small. Haha. Singaporeans.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #3

Mustafa also carries the 2.25L soda bottle. Each costs only SGD1.90. And they're HUGE!

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #2

Sampai Singapore, kitorang pegi shopping dulu. Ali kerja Singapore, so dia tau la selok-belok sana. Pergi Mustafa.

I don't know why Singaporeans flock JB to shop when they have Mustafa. Everything you need is there. And majority of stuff are way cheaper than in JB. Adidas deodorant goes for SGD2.80 each. Here, it's RM13.90.

And Mustafa has the largest display of body wash I've ever seen.

Singapore Half Marathon 2011 #1

The next few posts will be about my not-so-recent half marathon that I ran *ehem*bullshit*ehem* on the 4th of Dec.

Journey began with a train ride to Singpore. Naik train senandung malam. Boleh guling-guling tidoq.

Travel dengan Ayman. Carbo load makan mekdi.

Terasa macam pelarian pulak, tirai semua kaler camo. Apa dalam beg plastik tu? Used diapers!! Hampeh punya next door neighbour.

Hujan, Hujan, Hujan, Hujan

Antara kes-kes yang boleh dijangka bakal mengunjungi Jabatan Kecemasan kelak:

Mangsa banjir.

Mangsa tanah runtuh.

Mangsa rumah atas air roboh tenggelam dalam laut dipukul ombak dan angin kuat.

Orang bodoh kemalangan memandu semasa mabuk.

Orang bodoh luka-luka teruk bergaduh di kelab malam ketika mabuk Tahun Baru.

Orang kesian yang turut dibelasah bila cuba mengaman orang mabuk yang bergaduh (kalau ada orang bergaduh, jangan kacau. Habis terer, ko jerit je "Polis! Polis!" Orang gaduh ni kecek agah je. Gertak sikit, terkencing la).

Pesakit asthma.

Pesakit COPD.

Pesakit minta MC nak extend cuti. Long holiday la katakan. Alasan utama yang digunakan adalah migraine. Siapa bongkar rahsia ni? Migraine macam mana nak buktikan? That's why kalau orang datang mintak MC pasal migraine, tapi still boleh tersengih macam ketiak masam, I make them do funny stuff which is not even in the clinical text book. Walk in line sambil mengepak-kepak tangan macam burung. Touch your nose then your ear repeatedly. Spin around 3 times. Ye lah, nak MC kan? Entertain me.

Oh last night I discovered a way to calm an aggressive drunk man in the Emergency Department. Picit je tetek dia. Minimal effort. Maximum control. Tak payah struggle-struggle pegang tangan, kaki dia.