Cerita Melayu

I am down with a fever and very chesty cough. So I get to practice my rights and assume the sick role.

My younger brother and younger cousins were watching a thriller Malay movie 'Trauma' on TV. They have their pillows covering half their faces, so when the scary part comes, they only have to move minimally to get their eyes covered. So I decided to ease the tension by proving them how predictable Malay movies are. NB: I've not seen the movie before.

Prediction Number 1

On the TV screen: Amy Mastura and Sharifah Aleya were bleeding on the floor in the store room. The killer was walking towards them. Amy Mastura threw a few bottles, which were placed next to a minyak cap Buruh cooking oil, to the killer.

I told the kids: Relax lah. Lepas ni orang jahat tu mesti terbakar punya.

Few seconds later: Amy Mastura threw a burning candle at the killer, and he lit up like a fireball.

Prediction Number 2

On the TV screen: Amy Mastura and Sharifah Aleya tried to escape the killer. They got into a car. Amy Mastura was cranking the engine.

I told the kids: Tengok lah. Orang jahat tu tak mati lagi. Nanti mesti dia tangkap sorang.

Few seconds later: Mr Fireball made a comeback and grabbed Sharifah Aleya and ran away.

Prediction Number 3

On the TV screen: Amy Mastura was frantically looking for Sharifah Aleya.

I told the kids: Relax lah. Orang jahat ni mesti mati kena langgar kereta punya.

Few seconds later: Azhar Sulaiman came to the rescue, ramming the killer with a Pajero onto a tree.

So instead of pooping their pants, the kids were entertained. Man, I felt like David Blaine. Haha.