Saturday, September 08, 2007

Batu Pahat

Two words: Cyclists-unfriendly. Wait a minute. That's one word.

When driving or cycling, there are 3 things that translate into safety.

1. Good roads
2. Good drivers
3. Good luck

Yes. Good luck indeed finding those three in Batu Pahat.

The roads surfaces in Batu Pahat are in good condition, except the part when it comes to road lines and markings. Almost all lines and markings have faded over the years of torture from Batu Pahat scorching hot sun. This made possible for 2-lane roads to be converted to 4-lane roads, easliy. People get to escape the blame. Take:

Driver 1: Woi!! Ngko ingat ni jalan BAPAK ngko punya?! Tengok lane la!!
Driver 2: Apa lane?! Ngko la buta!! Mangkok hayun!!! (Finger)

See. You'll never get caught. Both of you will be right.

And drivers. Batu Pahat drivers, their balls are made of steel, man. I'm telling you, if Batu Pahat drivers play chicken with a lori hantu, the only kind of turn they'll be taking is a turn-on. Somehow they have this affinity towards the front end of cars. They get a hard on when they see the front bumper. Which is why you only see drivers here drive with only one hand on the steering wheel. The other hand is busy beating themselves down there.

And for more than too many times, you'll always find the car in front of you is driven by a 67-year-old Haji Leman Winonoto, 58-year-old Madam Chong or 74-year-old Mr. Velukarupaiyah whom all believe that speed limit signs are mockery to their age, so they tend to drive slower. Pffftt. Denial.

Here's a typical day on a Batu Pahat road.



Guess what happens next.



Welcome to Batu Pahat.

My bike is now nothing more than a very expensive towel rack.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Mohd Shazly Khan said...

towel rack? I can gladly exchange it with a real towel rack. Just tell me when to come ad get it.. haha. U have not seen anything yet. In New Delhi, its double what you have just describe. Unimaginable! now thats a 'one word'!!

08 September, 2007  
Blogger saifs said...

I laughed so hard to the point where one hand was scrolling and the other... well, lets just say i was reading your blog "Batu Pahat" style :D

09 September, 2007  
Blogger azri fickry said...

macam2 aa cita ko ni man..hahahhaa..

apa2 pun, selamat pose.selamat pose kat batu pahat

09 September, 2007  
Blogger Abu Soffian said...

Wah...power la Dr man....boleh buat drawing

10 September, 2007  
Anonymous Stupid_O said...

that was gut-bustingly hilarious. funny as hell. good luck in batu pahat man!!!

10 September, 2007  
Blogger Dancing Ciken said...

abih orang batu pahat, hoho

10 September, 2007  
Blogger yipwt said...

this drawing reminds me of 8-bit ataris....man you are good...

10 September, 2007  
Blogger Ally-acin said...

hahahaha... pundekss

11 September, 2007  
Blogger Kaki Cucuk Langit said...

hahaha. what better way to explain other than a drawn up visual eh?

keep it up! and thanks for dropping a line in my blog. :)

12 September, 2007  
Blogger nurina said...

Doc, I think you missed yu're true calling, should've become a cartonist...
Brilliant
Selamat Berpuasa

12 September, 2007  
Blogger Azman said...

Haha. Really, you guys have got to be here to experience the Batu Pahat 'warm welcome'. But they make up by having the BEST nasi beriyani in the world. Jom pegi Beriyani Md Shah!!

14 September, 2007  
Blogger Stupe said...

Bang oi..nama pun batu and pahat...that's one word by the way...

so, once there, expect yourself to be pahat-ed!
:)

18 September, 2007  
Anonymous azman said...

1st time saya singgah sini..itu pun sebab nama kita sama..azman.

betul ka kat batu pahat driver dia ganas2 macam tu?
aku ingatkan kat penang saja driver hampeh....

hahahaha..nice blog dude!

07 October, 2007  

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